I’m so good with words
I’ve been told I have a twinkle in my eye
In an existential crisis
You used to want me as your communications guy
Your opioids
Red dye in your cherries
Your benzos
All those stalker fans
The forever chemicals in your
Non-stick pans
Your rape allegations
Tapes of your affairs
You need lawyers and money
(And maybe guns)
But you also need me there
(That’s right)
My career was bullet-proof
My trajectory was irreversible
Until I began doing PR
For that damn guy’s prototype submersible
That damn guy’s prototype submersible
I was captivated by his enthusiasm
His confidence
His portfolio, his charm
His M I T degrees
All the actresses on his arm
His vision was compelling
He was on a quest
To bring tourists
To the bottom
Of the Mariana Trench
That’s seven miles down
He called it a piece of cake
But that first dive
Was his last mistake
He recruited
Seven wanna-be explorers
With cash and time to burn
He said they were making history
Called them the new Neil Armstrongs
He got so much right
But on much more he was wrong
I could see disaster coming
He was delusional, a fraud, a hack
But my spin and his lawyers
Held the worst stories back
My spin and his lawyers
Held the worst stories back
On the surface
We knew it must be bad
After six hours
Without a peep
It was clear
They should never have gone
That deep
Your opioids
Red dye in your cherries
Your benzos
All those stalker fans
The forever chemicals in your
Non-stick pans
Your rape allegations
Tapes of your affairs
You need lawyers and money
(And maybe guns)
But you also need me there
I’m so good with words
I’ve been told I have a twinkle in my eye
In an existential crisis
You used to want me as your communications guy
You used to want me as your communications guy
