Heart-Shaped Tub (v2)

I drove you to the mountains

For a champagne getaway

We’d only just arrived

When you felt compelled to say

You would not join me

In the heart-shaped tub

Until I shaved my mustache

And, honey, there’s the rub

That’s something you should have mentioned

Before we got on the Northeast Extension

Poco-no-no-no

Poco-no-no-no

That can’t be the way

This is gonna go

Poco-no-no-no

Poco-no-no-no

That can’t be the way

This is gonna go

I sold all my Bitcoin

To buy you a red Miata

And make a generous donation

To your bankrupt alma mater

I drove us to your mom’s

Power-washed her double-wide

Listened to Alex Jones with her

And died a little more inside

Poco-no-no-no

Poco-no-no-no

That can’t be the way

This is gonna go

Poco-no-no-no

Poco-no-no-no

That can’t be the way

This is gonna go

That’s something you should have mentioned

Before we got on the Northeast Extension

I drove you to the f-ing Poconos

To mark our two-week anniversary

And you’re already asking

About wallpaper in the nursery

I caught you editing

My power of attorney

You said you just can’t wait

For us to begin our life-long journey

Poco-no-no-no

Poco-no-no-no

That can’t be the way

This is gonna go

Poco-no-no-no

Poco-no-no-no

That can’t be the way

This is gonna go

There’s so many things

You could have mentioned

Before we got on the Northeast Extension

There’s so many things

You should have mentioned

Before we got on the Northeast Extension